I love how he wants to craft his daughters into full functioning, feeling, and thoughtful adults who know how to cope with not getting what they want.
I understand that as a parent it is often easier to give your kids what they want so that they will be 'happy' or quit bothering you. Where do you draw the line? Where is the line between giving your kids a gift of love versus spoiling or overindulging them?
ALSO: When do you think it is okay to give your child a phone?
I am very very use to kids yelling at me, "You're mean! I don't like you!“
ReplyDeleteI usually tell them some derivative of," That's fine. My job isn't too get you to like me."
To a kid that I'd busted ass for despite being repeatedly physically assaulted by, spit on, cussed out, you name it, he said, "You're not my mom" and I snapped back with, "You're right. I actually care about you."
My job is making kids into the best version of themselves possible. Sometimes that involves a whole lot of boundaries and limitations they didn't have before I walked into their life. I'm very grateful for my experiences of being yelled at, cursed at, insulted, etc. Because I've learned to step back from it asking myself, "Am I doing the best thing by this child in the long run?" and if I am, who cares that the kids is momentarily upset with me. My favorite is when they yell, "You're not coming to my birthday party!!" or some other silliness.
I know it'll hurt when my daughter as she grows up says a lot of things she doesn't really mean because she's mad and frustrated with me but I like what he says about teaching kids to deal with not always getting what you want.
When as adults do we always get what we want? I've seen some adults with pretty poor coping skills in dealing with not getting what they want when they want it. Teaching it to your children is crucial to them being better adults.
They usually are happy to see me and hug me hello the next day.